• Don't bottle up your feelings just because the other person apologized. If you are still angry or hurt, say so.
  
• Don't assume you should be ready to forgive just because the other person apologized. Forgiveness often takes time.


• Don't expect an apology to resolve the underlying reason why a person did something. If you feel the other person's actions had meaning that needs to be understood, suggest a further disscussion. For example, you might say, "I accept your apology, but I'd like to talk further about why you did what you did," or "I appreciate the apology, but I still have a problem with what you did."


• Don't accept an apology just to make the other person feel better.


• Don't accept what you experience as an insincere apology. Instead, suggest that you have a disscussion about why the apologist did what he or she did or how he or she can avoid repeating the behavior.

Silence Isn't Always Golden.

"Remaining silent instead of asking for an apology from those who have hurt you can cause as many problems in relationships as not apologizing when you have hurt someone"

As important as giving and receiving apologies is to our emotional and physical well-being, asking for an apology is equally important. Remaining silent, building up resentments, and distancing youself from others instead of letting them know how they have hurt you can cause as many problems as not apologizing when you have hurt someone. Even though you may pride yourself on your willingness and ability to admit when you are wrong and to apologiza when you've hurt others, if you aren't also able to let others know when you feel they owe you an apology will contribute to relationship problems as much as those who are unable or unwilling to apologize. To make matters worse, by not asking for the apologies you feel you are owed, you actually reinforce a non-apologizer's tendency to avoid taking the responsibility. With your silence you encourage others to continue treating you in inconsiderate, selfish, or even abusive ways.

By taking the first step and letting the person know how he or she hurt you, you show great courage and a willingness to talk things out. You give the other person important information about what you like and don't like so that he or she won't be likely to offend you again in the same way. And you will probably feel a lot better than you did when you were stewing about what the wrongdoer did and how he or she didn't even have the decendy to apologize.

Even if the person refuse to apologize, your efforts were not in vain. By speaking up, you are sending a strong message that you do no appreciate or approve of his or her behaviour. This unsually has an effect on people. Even if they are too proud to apologize or admit they were wrong, the average person will think twice before repeating the act in your presence. Those whoe continue to behave in the ways that make you uncomfortable are sending you a strong message. They are saying they don't respect your wishes and don't care about your feelings. When this happens, you now have valuable information about this person and your relationship. Whether you wish to act on it will be up to you, but if you respect yourself you will likely limit your relationship with this person.

p/s : actions speak louder than words.

3 Lovers??