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- 11/12/1990 (premature birth)
- The high road to reason
- kulli sanah wentu toiyibin
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The Secret of SocratesFriday, December 25, 2009; 10:44 AM
In talking with other people, don't begin by discussing the things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing and keep on emphasizing, the things on which you agree. Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not of purpose.
Get the other person "Yes, yes" at the outset. keep your opponent, if possible, from saying "No". A "No" response, according to Professor Harry Overstreet, is a most difficult handicap to overcome. When you have said "No," all your pride of personality demands that you remain consistent with yourself. You may later feel that the "No" was ill-advised; nevertheless, there is your precious pride to consider! Once having said a thing, you feel you must stick to it. Hence it is of the very greatest importance that a person be started in the affirmative direction.
The psychology patterns here are quite clear. When a person says "No" and really mean it, he or she is doing far more than saying a word of two letters. The entire organism, glandular, nervous, muscular, gathers itself together into a condition of rejection. There is, usually in minute but sometimes in observable degree, a physical withdrawal or readiness for withdrawal. The whole neuromuscular system, in short, sets itself on guard against acceptance. When, to a contrary, a person says "Yes," none of the withdrawal activities takes place. The organism is in a forward-moving, accepting, open attitude. Hence the more Yeses we can, at the very outset, induce, the more likely we are to succeed in capturing the attention for our ultimate proposal.
(Takes from "How to Enjoy Your Life and Your Job" by Dale Carnegie, page 170-171)
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