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Pasca obs & gyne
Thursday, June 13, 2013; 5:24 PM

Bismillah...


Usai exam O&G (obstetric & gynecology) paper 2, aku ternampak seorang rakanku. Nun jauh di sana. Diam. Termenung sambil tangan menongkat dagu. Ya, aku dapat rasakan. Suasana pada kali ini sungguh berbeza. Seluruh dewan seakan menyepi kesedihan.

Kebiasaannya, orang akan gembira dan berasa sedikit lega apabila habis exam. Apatah lagi subjek O&G adalah tajuk terbesar untuk tahun ni. Namun bukan itu keadaannya. Belum pun sempat kesedihan dan terkejut dengan kertas 1 dua hari lepas reda, ditambah pula dengan kejutan kertas 2. Pedih. Hatiku bagai dicucuk.

Pada saat ini tiada kata mampu ku ungkapkan. Sudah seminggu aku bersengkang mata. Tidurku tidak lebih dari 3 jam. Dalam terang mahupun gelap, ku gigihkan usaha. Membaca dalam malapnya, ditemani cahaya lilin. Sebagai persediaan, untuk menghadapi subjek ini. Aku tahu. Bukan senang nak berjaya. Aku teruskan usaha.

Hari ini...
Sudah dua kertas berlalu. 330 markah. Tapi. Aku kecewa. Kecewa. Sebulan ku persiapkan diri. Namun, pabila tiba saatnya, aku seakan tidak bersedia. Tiada kekuatan. Aku sendiri tidak tahu di manakah silapnya. Aku merasa diriku lemah. 

Hanya mampu berdoa. Dan mengharapkan keajaiban. Semoga hari mendatang lebih bahagia. 

p/s : pasca exam O&G yang sangat susah!

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