• Don't bottle up your feelings just because the other person apologized. If you are still angry or hurt, say so.
  
• Don't assume you should be ready to forgive just because the other person apologized. Forgiveness often takes time.


• Don't expect an apology to resolve the underlying reason why a person did something. If you feel the other person's actions had meaning that needs to be understood, suggest a further disscussion. For example, you might say, "I accept your apology, but I'd like to talk further about why you did what you did," or "I appreciate the apology, but I still have a problem with what you did."


• Don't accept an apology just to make the other person feel better.


• Don't accept what you experience as an insincere apology. Instead, suggest that you have a disscussion about why the apologist did what he or she did or how he or she can avoid repeating the behavior.

Silence Isn't Always Golden.

"Remaining silent instead of asking for an apology from those who have hurt you can cause as many problems in relationships as not apologizing when you have hurt someone"

As important as giving and receiving apologies is to our emotional and physical well-being, asking for an apology is equally important. Remaining silent, building up resentments, and distancing youself from others instead of letting them know how they have hurt you can cause as many problems as not apologizing when you have hurt someone. Even though you may pride yourself on your willingness and ability to admit when you are wrong and to apologiza when you've hurt others, if you aren't also able to let others know when you feel they owe you an apology will contribute to relationship problems as much as those who are unable or unwilling to apologize. To make matters worse, by not asking for the apologies you feel you are owed, you actually reinforce a non-apologizer's tendency to avoid taking the responsibility. With your silence you encourage others to continue treating you in inconsiderate, selfish, or even abusive ways.

By taking the first step and letting the person know how he or she hurt you, you show great courage and a willingness to talk things out. You give the other person important information about what you like and don't like so that he or she won't be likely to offend you again in the same way. And you will probably feel a lot better than you did when you were stewing about what the wrongdoer did and how he or she didn't even have the decendy to apologize.

Even if the person refuse to apologize, your efforts were not in vain. By speaking up, you are sending a strong message that you do no appreciate or approve of his or her behaviour. This unsually has an effect on people. Even if they are too proud to apologize or admit they were wrong, the average person will think twice before repeating the act in your presence. Those whoe continue to behave in the ways that make you uncomfortable are sending you a strong message. They are saying they don't respect your wishes and don't care about your feelings. When this happens, you now have valuable information about this person and your relationship. Whether you wish to act on it will be up to you, but if you respect yourself you will likely limit your relationship with this person.

p/s : actions speak louder than words.

3 Lovers??

Set your goal

Friday, September 24, 2010; 6:06 PM

Bismillah...


Hari ini saya agak tertarik apabila melihat status Dr Zainur Rashid Zainuddin di facebook :

"Seorang yang kehilangan misi perjuangannya akan berubah wajah menjadi seorang yang kecundang.

Seorang yang jatuh tetapi berjaya bangkit dan meluruskan orientasinya maka dia akan menjadi pejuang yang berjaya.

Layak atau tidak kita memiliki nama besar pula tergantung kepada sebesar & seagung mana misi dan visi yang kita sandangi."


Lantas saya teringat kandungan buku yang saya baru sahaja baca yang bertajuk "success is a choice". Memang betullah apa yang diperkatakan oleh Dr Zainur dan juga apa yang tertulis di dalam buku ini. Misi dan matlamat adalah elemen yang sangat penting dalam kehidupan seseorang itu.


"Goals : You'll get there if you know where you are going"


Manusia sering kali terkeliru dan teragak-agak dalam membuat sesuatu keputusan. Contohnya, jika kita terpaksa memilih untuk melakukan sesuatu, kita mula mengambil masa yang lama untuk memikirkan apakah yang terbaik untuk kita. Kadang-kadang kita juga terkeliru yang mana satu yang harus kita pilih. Namun, jika kita mempunyai matlamat yang jelas, kita tidak akan lagi terkeliru mahupun teragak-agak dalam membuat keputusan. Pilihan yang lebih cenderung kepada matlamat kita, maka itulah yang akan kita pilih. Mudah kan? Mengapa perlu mengambil masa yang lama jika kita sudahpun mempunyai misi yang jelas. Sudah semestinya kita akan mengutamakan misi kita. Kan? =)


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A goal works like a magnet, and its magnetic force will pull you to success and fulfillment. Isn't it a lot easier to get to the corner store if you know where it is? On the other hand, how could you ever get there if you don't know where you are going? If you don't have a goal, how do you know that you have succeeded? That is, how do you know you've arrived at the place you are trying to go?


Why poeple don't set goals?
People are afraid to set goals because they fear that by setting goal, they and others, will be able to determine whether they have succeeded. They are afraid of what others may think of them, and they are afraid of what they may think of themselves. People who fear failure live by the maxim, "If you don't try, you can't fail." They conveniently gloss over the most important maxim: "You can't succeed if you don't try."


I keep thinking why most peoples do fear of failure. I read a book when I was 16 entitle "Dare to fail". This book didn't ask us to fail but they encourage us not to fear to try something new or do something. Many peoples afraid of doing something because they fear of failure. Hey, If you never try, then you will never know. How could you say you are going to fail when you not even do it? Yes, many of the successful peoples in this world not achieve their level now in a blink of an eye. They go through many difficulties and they did fail many times too. But wait, do you know that winners don't view failures as failures but as learning experiences and opportunities. Like what Dr Zainur said, "Seorang yang jatuh tetapi berjaya bangkit dan meluruskan orientasinya maka dia akan menjadi pejuang yang berjaya." This is very good! We can't expect to win all the time. When Allah gives us failure, it means at that time, we are strong enough to face it. Everything happened for a reason. Maybe when we fail, Allah wants us to learn something. Allah knows everything. So, please don't give up, stand up, be strong, set your goal and move on =)


Okay, tiba-tiba ada rasa macam ceramah motivasi kan? Yela, I will stop here. Masing-masing pun macam dah mengantuk je. huhu. See you in the next chapter~


p/s : ada jumpa buku "life is an open secret" dan "first thing first". Entah sempat x nak baca sebelum pulang ke cairo...medik oo medik. =)

10 Lovers??

The Knight in The Shinning Armor

Tuesday, September 21, 2010; 12:07 PM

Bismillah...

A knight in shinning armor travelling through the countryside. Suddenly he hears a woman crying out in distress. In an instant he comes alive. Urging his horse to a gallop, he races to her castle, where she is trapped by a dragon. The noble knight pulls out his sword and slays the dragon. As a result, he is lovingly receives by the princess.

As the gates open he is welcomed and celebrated by the family of the princess and the town people. He is invited to live in the town and is acknowledged as a hero. He and the princess fall in love.

A month later the noble knight goes off om another trip. On his way back, he hears his beloved princess crying out for help. Another dragon has attacked the castle. When the knight arrives he pulls out his sword to slay the dragon. Before he swings, the princess cries out from the tower, "Don't use you sword, use this noose. It will work better."

She throws him the noose and motions to him instructions about how to use it. He hesitantly follows her instructions. He wraps it around the dragon's neck and then pulls hard. The dragon dies and everyone rejoices.

At the celebration dinner the knight feels he didn't really do anything. somehow, because he used her noose and didn't use his sword, he doesn't quite feel worthy of the town's trust and admiration. After the event he is slightly depressed and forgets to shine his armor.

A month later he goes on yet another trip. As he leaves with his sword, the princess reminds him to be careful and tells him to take the noose. On his way home, he sees yet another dragon attacking the castle. This time he rushes forward with his sword but hesitates, thinking maybe he should use noose. In the moment of hesitation, the dragon breathes fire and burns his right arm. In confusion he looks up and sees his princess waving from the castle window. "Use the poison," she yells. "The noose doesn't work." She throws him the poison, which he pours into the dragon's mouth, and the dragon dies. Everyone rejoices and celebrates, but the knight feels ashamed.

A month later, he goes on another trip. As he leaves with his sword, the princess remind him to be careful, and to bring the noose and the poison. He is annoyed by her suggestions but bring them just in case. This time on his journey he hears another woman in distress. As he rushes to her call, his depression is lifted and he feel confident and alive. But as he draws his sword to slay the dragon, he again hesitates. He wonders, should I use my sword, the noose, or the poison? What would the princess say?

For a moment he is confused. But then he remembers how he had felt before knew the princess, back in the days when he only carried a sword. With a burst of renewed confidence he throws off the noose and poison and charges the dragon with his trusted sword. He slays the dragon and the towns people rejoice.

The knight in shinning armor never returned to his princess. He stayed in this new village and lived happily ever after. He eventually married, but only after making sure his new partner knew nothing about noose and poisons.

0 Lovers??

Raya sudah

Thursday, September 9, 2010; 9:38 PM

Bismillah...


Hari ini dah masuk satu syawal pun. Dengan bangganya nak cakap aku dapat satu kad raya tahun ni! Tu pun dari Masyitah, 7 tahun. Bagi by hand je. Tapi takpe, asalkan dapat. So kena la cerita daripada tak dapat langsung kan? hik2.


Pagi tadi, tatkala aku tengah tidur, Luqman sibuk kejut. Kosan eh, kono poie rumah atok, tolong bakar lomang. Cheh. Takpo2. Den buek cam biaso. Mulo2 hidopkan api eh. Mak ai, sakit mato den. Tapi pape pun, api tu berjayo la den hidupkan. Kalau takdo api, takdo la lomang kan? Maksud eh, den dah buek satu pengorbanan yang sangat bosar dalam pemasakan lomang ni. Tibo2, buleh pulak balong poie toman budak2 ni poie boli kasut. Pulak! Kan dah makin berkurang tenaga pekerja. Takpo, den seorang yang cekal. Nak tak nak, mahu tak mahu, kono gak buek. Kalau tak, kono marah. haha.


Time ni la den semangat nak buek rondang. Bukan apo, sobonarnyo, den nak salin resepi rondang ni. Sonang la nanti kok den nak buek kek mosir. Pastu den pun poie tibai pen dengan korteh nak salin resepi. Pastu den kono jago ketupat pulak. Kojap2 poie tengok lomang. Kojap2 kacau rondang. Kojap2 isi air dalam periuk masak ketupat. Ai, macam den buek kojo sorang jo ni. Pukul 12, badan dah mulo raso lotih. Den raso cam nak tido jo. Bukan raso lagi dah, dah tido pon. haha. Lomang ntah ke mano, rondang, ketupat, sumo den lupokan. >.<>

Satu syawal menjelma sudah,
Sebagai tanda raya dah tiba,
Masak lemang sudah ketupat pun sudah,
Mari kita berhari raya.

p/s : bestkan kalau ada orang call pagi raya cakap selamat hari raya kat kite? =)

7 Lovers??

Ketupat

Wednesday, September 8, 2010; 5:59 PM

Bismillah...

"Ketupat rendang, sila nikmati,

peninggalan nenek, zaman berzaman"

Haa, itu antara lirik lagu yang agak popular menjelang raya. Jadi dengan ini, aku nk kongsi sedikit bagaimana teknik aku nak membuat ketupat sebagai persiapan raya. Bukan la ketupat tapi kulit ketupat. hik3. Kepada yang baru nak belajar, harap dapat manfaat, yang dah tahu, anggap je la ni sebagai revision ye ;)

Mula2, kena la beli daun kelapa untuk dibuat ketupat. Cari la kat pasar ada..

Kemudian, ambil satu daun pokok tu, potongkan batangnya dengan pisau supaya boleh diceraikan. Jaga2, jangan sampai kena tangan pula ye.

Ini lah hasilnya selepas dipotong. Kan dah dapat dua helai daun.

Ambil satu daun dan letakkan di tangan kiri seperti dalam gambar.

Tarik panggal ke bawah dengan melilitkan daun di tangan.

Lilit lagi..

dan lilit 2 kali

Lilit pula di tangan belah kanan tapi dari arah yang bertentangan.

Masukkan daun yng pertama kanan ke bawah daun pertama kiri.

Kemudian lalukan daun pertama kanan ke atas daun kedua kiri.

dan seterusnya ke bawah daun ketiga kiri.

Selesai daun yg pertama kanan, kita mulakan dengan daun kedua di sebelah kanan pula. Kali ini, masukkan daun kedua kanan ke atas daun pertama kiri.

kemudian ke bawah daun kedua.

dan seterusnya ke atas semula..

begitu juga untuk daun ketiga kanan. Lakukan step macam daun pertama kanan

Bawah, atas, bawah..

Ini lah hasilnye. Ops, jangan tertipu, ni tak siap lagi. haha. Tapi ini basic. Daripada sini, kita boleh pilih sama ada nak buat ketupat jenis apa. Sila pilih jenis ketupat di bawah.

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Ketupat "bawang"

Jadikan kedua2 pangkal ke arah belakang ye. Jangan lupa selang seli kan bila masuk tu.

Haa, ni rupa bila dua2 pangkal dah siap menghala ke belakang. Kemudian, ekot dia, kena la menghala ke arah bertentangan.

Tadaa!! Kan dah siap. Mudah je kan?

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Ketupat "sate"

Mulakan dari basic tadi. Then, ekor daun kelapa terus pusing ke arah bawah (bertentangan dengan pangkal daun)

Simpulkan ke bawah.

Tadaa lagi sekali..kan dah siap. Ini lagi mudah.

Ini lah hasilnya. Cantik kan? Selamat mencuba! ;)

4 Lovers??

Bangun lewat

Friday, September 3, 2010; 5:07 AM

Bismillah...


Jam menunjukkan tepat pukul 10 pagi. Aduh! Macam mana boleh tertidur lama ni? Ni la akibatnya bila tidur lepas subuh. Takde, tadi ingatkan nak tidur kejap je. Aduhai. Kain tak basuh lagi. Kain tak nak lak lagi banyak lagi hari ni. Sampah tak buang, periuk tak basuh. +_+ Mampus aku. Ok2, jangan panik. Sekarang pukul 10. Nak basuh 2 round. 1 round 40 minit. 2 round 1 jam 20 minit. Jangka siap pukul 11:20. Ibu balik pukul 12. Uh, minta2 la sempat! +_+ Kejap lagi nak jemput adik, then nak solat Jumaat, pastu nak hantar kad raya (cheh, bajet YB je kau ni..Biarla, kau jeles ke kalau aku YB?..Xde keje nak jeles..Masalahnye kau bukannye YB..Suke hati aku laa..haha).


Owh, hari ni akan berlakunya pengumpulan seluruh 11 ahli keluarga yang sekian lama tak berkumpul. Penuh la rumah hari ni nampaknya. Makin kenyang la nyamuk2 kat sini. hish! Tapi tak cukup sorang la plak. Sorang dah pergi merantau jauh, jadi tinggal la 10 orang. ngeh3. Semalam aku dah tershopping baju 2 helai. cheh. Tiap-tiap kali keluar mesti tershopping pape. Lepas abang balik, mesti ibu suruh beli baju raya. Aduh, terpaksa la shopping lagi. aiyo~~~(suke sebenarnye..haha)

Selamat mengejar malam lailatul qadar ;)

p/s : Semua orang balik la cepat2. Nanti boleh terawih same2. Minta2 la imam yang bertugas datang.

5 Lovers??

new face

Wednesday, September 1, 2010; 8:06 PM

Bismillah...


Setelah sekian lama aku x on9. Entah kenapa malam ni tibe2 aku rasa nak on9 lama2. Haa, ambik kau sampai pukul 2 tak tido lagi. Apekejadahnye semua ini?? 10 malam terakhir ni la kau sibuk nak on9. Insaf laa. huu~ Ok, sebenarnye aku tukar layout baru kat blog aku. Sebab layout tu dah terlalu lama kot. So, kena la tukar yang baru. And now, I'm not using the black colour. Hope you like it. If you don't like it, I don't care. haha.


By now, I finished read all the books. That's mean my mission for this summer break is complete =) means I can buy new books now! Hooray! but then, I still have pharmacology, parasitology and pathology. Aduh, xdo semangat la nak baca buku medic. Someone please bagi semangat sikit. At least bagi pinjam sikit pun jadi laa. Taw2, tak sampai sebulan aku akan pergi meninggalkan Malaysia semula. Laa, kejapnye masa berlalu. So, dah boleh la siap2 beli barang apa2 yang perlu nak bawa balik. Baju, jeans, kasut, pemalut buku, rempah2 makanan, pen, blablabla....dan yg plg penting Bendera Malaysia. Wah, tiba2 semangat patriotik lak kn. Den tak kiro, den nak bawa bendero Malaysia bosar punyo.


So, currently sedang menghitung hari,
Menghitung hari akan berlalunya Ramadhan..
Menghitung hari akan datangnya Syawal..
Menghitung hari akan kembali ke Cairo..
Menghitung hari bila nak tamat pengajian..
Menghitung hari untuk special date..


Setiap hari baca paper cerita yang sama; politik-saman sini saman sana, pembuangan bayi, pembunuhan, kemalangan jalan raya. Bilalah dunia ni nak aman dari semua ni? Tak penat ke buat dosa? Sampai satu tahap aku dah malas nak baca surat khabar dah. Tapi kalau tak baca, nanti tak tahu nak buat apa. So, baca juga laa. herm.. Dah, malas nak ulas panjang2 pasal masalah ni. Dah malam and I need to sleep now. daa~

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p/s : tiba2 ada kerja part time baru..aiyo..kerja yang dijalankan atas rasa tanggungjawab dan bersama paksaan juga..haha..

0 Lovers??